Monday, December 3, 2018

Benin Bulletin #14








Benin Bulletin #14

“And Then There Were 3”

December 3, 2018

Prayer Requests

1)  Time with family & friends - Praise the Lord for the time we have been able to have with our friends and family here in Canada.  We’ve enjoyed connecting with each and every one of you.

2)  Our travels - Praise the Lord for the safety we experienced during all our travels.  We were able to visit all the churches that support us in BC, Alberta and New Brunswick.  Everything went very smoothly. 

3)  Austin Boyd Crawford - Please pray for Austin as he is still in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).  He has been improving more and more every day.  Pray that he will be able to go home soon so we can celebrate Christmas outside of the hospital walls.

4)  New Job - Pray for me as I begin a new job with Skillsoft on December 10th.  Praise the Lord that I was able to find work in my field here in New Brunswick.

5)  The future - Pray for Kathleen and I as we adjust to life as parents and to life living in Canada.  We had envisioned our lives in Africa so it’s been an adjustment to see ourselves living in Canada.  Pray that we would feel more and more settled here in New Brunswick.

Introduction

Greetings from Fredericton, New Brunswick!  Wow, it feels like it’s been a while since I’ve had an opportunity to write you all.  Actually, it’s been about 6 months now.  Many things have happened since I last wrote to you last.  Read on to get all the latest updates!

Lots of Traveling

As many of you already know, Kathleen and I left Benin on July 3rd and arrived back in Canada on July 4th.  The month of July was filled with time with family and friends in the Fredericton, New Brunswick area.  At the beginning of August, I (Graham) left for Alberta to go on a camping trip with my family in British Columbia.  After about 3 weeks in both BC and Alberta, I traveled to Toronto, Ontario to meet up with Kathleen and have some meetings with SIM Canada.  After about 5 days in Toronto, Kathleen and I traveled to Alberta together to visit with family, friends and supporters.  Kathleen’s parents arrived in Alberta on September 13th, and we embarked on an epic 3 province road trip to visit our supporting churches.  We stopped and visited a number of friends and family along the way, notably, Kathleen’s brother Dustin, who is living in Southern Saskatchewan.  This was an extra special trip because Kathleen’s parents had never been to BC or Saskatchewan so I got to play tour guide as we drove along.  At the beginning of October, we left Alberta to return to New Brunswick.  At this point Kathleen was getting noticeably pregnant and just needed to stay in one spot until the baby arrived in January.  Or, so we thought…

Lots of friends and family met us at the airport in Fredericton

Camping in Lake Country, BC

Austin Boyd Crawford

The day was November 26, 2018.  A day I will likely never forget.  For the most part, the day was just like any other day.  The excitement didn’t begin until the day was almost over.  At approximately 11:15pm, I heard Kathleen call to me from the bedroom.  I couldn’t quite hear what she was saying so I walked into the bedroom so I could hear here clearly.  “What did you say?”  “I think my water just broke.”  Hmm…that’s interesting.  As far as I knew, that wasn’t supposed to be happening yet.  “I guess we should go to the hospital”, I said, unsure if that was even the correct course of action.  Kathleen felt the first thing we should do is wake her parents, John and Diane Davidson.  For those who don’t know, Kathleen and I have been staying in the basement of her parents’ house until we figure out whether we are staying in Canada for the foreseeable future, or whether we would head back to Africa with another missionary posting.  So, I went upstairs and woke up Kathleen’s parents.  They both felt that the best thing to do would be to call the hospital and get their advice on how to proceed.  The hospital said we needed to come.  And I’m glad we did.  At about 11:45pm, Kathleen and I arrived at the hospital in Fredericton.  They admitted Kathleen and put us in a delivery room.  Once we got settled it was probably around 12:30am.  I looked at Kathleen and thought, “What now?”  Kathleen had not experienced any pain yet.  Was this a false alarm?  Having the experience of absolute zero in delivering babies, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Kathleen decided she wanted to stand up and that is when she felt it.  Pain.  Or at least discomfort that she hadn’t felt before.  Ok, maybe it was nothing.  Then it happened again.  Ok, maybe it wasn’t nothing.  Another one.  Yep, this is definitely not nothing.  The doctors that would be delivering the baby arrived to introduce themselves.  Dr. Coady was the head of the operation and with her was Dr. Williams, a young resident at the hospital.  We also had Kelly the wonder nurse who was a total champ at doing everything to take care of Kathleen.  Dr. Coady measured Kathleen to see how far along she was.  “She’s at 6cm.”, she tells me, like I’m supposed to know what that means.  I say back, “How many centimeters does it go up to?”  I explained that we hadn’t had our pre-natal classes yet.  In fact, we were supposed to be having a tour of the part of the hospital we were in next month.  She saved me the embarrassment of Googling it and told me that once she is 10cm she will be ready to deliver the baby.  Whoa.  She’s like 60% of the way there!  That was fast!  At this point I decide it was time to call Katheen’s parents and tell them this baby is coming.  So, at about 1:30am I called John and told him what was happening.  He said they would be right there.  By the time Kathleen’s parents arrived, Kathleen was about 9cm.  I’m glad I called when I did.  Diane joined us in the delivery room and John waited patiently in the waiting room.  Everything happened so quickly I never really noticed the exact time, but somewhere around 2am Kathleen was ready to deliver.  She did really well.  There was no time to give her an epidural so she did everything the old-fashioned way.  At 2:38am the gender reveal party began.  It’s a boy!  Unfortunately, because of the early arrival, our time with him was very short.  They laid him on Kathleen’s chest for maybe a minute before he was put on a cart and wheeled away.  I was able to cut the umbilical cord before they whisked him away which was cool.  Since Diane was there with Kathleen, I decided I would follow our little man to see what the next step was.  They hooked up monitors to him and gave him a CPAP machine (a machine that blows forced air into the nose to assist with opening the lungs).  His breathing was the thing the doctors seemed most concerned about.  Being born 6 weeks early, there is some “lubrication” that was missing on his lungs causing them to be kind of “sticky”.  I was asked what his name was.  “Austin Boyd Crawford.”  Austin was the name of my father’s father (my grandfather).  He passed away when I was about 12 years old.  Boyd was the name of Kathleen’s mother’s father (Kathleen’s grandfather).  He passed away in May of this year (some of you may remember that Kathleen and I left Benin to attend the funeral).  Austin had a difficult start to his life but he has progressed very well.  He had the CPAP and IV for the first 2 days of his stay at the hospital but was doing well so they took away both of them.  He continued to respond well so they removed him from the incubator and he is now sleeping on a crib in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).  He started life being fed just 6ml of formula through his feeding tube every 3 hours.  He is now up to 60ml which is considered the maximum for his age/size (otherwise known as a “full feed”).  We have had chances to hold him now which is much easier with less wires and tubes attached to him.  He has even begun to open his eyes and take in the world around him.  We are so thankful for all the prayers and well wishes for Austin.  He is doing well and we are hopeful that he will be home in time to celebrate his first Christmas with us. 
Hurry up and wait

Lets get this show on the road
It's a boy!

Getting better and better every day!
New Job

After Austin was born, at about 5:30am I returned home to have a nap, a shower, a change of clothes, and collect some stuff for Kathleen.  Of course, Austin was born 6 weeks early so we didn’t have a bag packed yet.  At around 10am I stepped out of the shower when I heard my cell phone ring.  Still dripping wet, I glanced at the phone and saw the name Skillsoft.  For those who have been following our journey, when Kathleen and I returned to Canada we were not planning to return to Benin.  In fact, we weren’t sure if we were even ready emotionally/mentally to return to the mission field.  As we prayed about our decision, I decided that I would begin to investigate into the IT job market in New Brunswick.  Kathleen’s desire was to stay in New Brunswick so she will be near her parents when the baby was born.  I felt that if I applied to some IT jobs and nothing happened, the Lord was not directing us to stay in New Brunswick.  I wasn’t even sure if there would be any IT jobs in New Brunswick.  Well, I was pleasantly surprised.  What I discovered was there was actually a lot of IT jobs!  I was called for a number of interviews in October and November.  One of the interviews I had in November was with a company called Skillsoft (Skillsoft.com).  Skillsoft is the world leader in corporate learning.  In other words, they are massive.  They were looking for a “Cloud Application Specialist” which basically means a server specialist.  I applied for the job on October 15th.  I was interviewed on November 9th and on November 27th they were calling to offer me the job.  Considering I had been up all night with limited sleep and dripping from the shower, I wasn’t sure what to say at first.  I began to explain to them what just happened with Austin being born early.  I asked if I could have some time to get my life in order.  Skillsoft was very generous and told me that I could have until Monday to respond to the offer (It was Tuesday morning when they called).  On Wednesday afternoon I stopped by the Skillsoft office to pick up the job offer documentation so I could read the offer (including salary and benefits and company policies and such).  On Thursday Kathleen and I went over the offer and felt that it was more than fair.  So, on Friday, November 30th I signed the offer and officially became a part of the Skillsoft team.  Skillsoft again was very generous in giving me this week to spend with my family as Austin and Kathleen are still in the hospital.  My first day with Skillsoft will be on December 10th.  Please pray for me as yet another new chapter in my life begins. 

My new work location 

The Future

So, what does this all mean?  Well, my next action after signing the job offer with Skillsoft was to call Paul Russell, the Deputy Director of SIM Canada.  I explained to him what had happened and he congratulated me.  Since I am now starting a job, I am unable (and unwilling) to receive a salary from SIM so I asked him to discontinue our monthly donations.  I take receiving support very seriously and my belief has always been, if there is no need, there is no need to give.  Many of you have given sacrificially to us and I want to respect that and allow the funds you would send us to go where it is most needed.  As we traveled around visiting our supporters in September and October I was so blessed by the willingness of people to continue to support us during our transition back to Canada.  We were so grateful to SIM for not just dropping us after we left the mission field and our supporters responded in the same way.  We have felt so blessed to have that support while we “found our feet” here in Canada.  So, depending on when in the month you send in your donation to SIM, there may or may not be a December gift taken from your bank account.  However, by January there should no longer be any donations being automatically removed from your accounts.  Please let SIM know if it there is a withdrawal so they can sort that out for you.  I’ll keep an eye on things in case something gets missed as well.  Just so you are aware, there is a balance of funds still left in our SIM Canada account.  Since Kathleen is not working we have been told she is still able to receive those funds so that money will still be available to her.  I want to say a huge thank you for all of you who have supported me and Kathleen over the years.  The Lord blessed us with an overwhelmingly generous support team.  You guys rock!  Some of you may be wondering what our future is with SIM.  Well, I’m not exactly sure how that works quite yet.  My thinking is that we will become something equivalent to “inactive members” or something like that.  Kathleen and I are not opposed to returning to the mission field in the future, we just feel that at the moment, we are just not ready.  However, if we feel the Lord’s call, we would be happy to return to the mission field with SIM again.  For now, our mission field is New Brunswick, Canada!

Conclusion

So, I think that is about it for now.  Thank you so much for your continued prayer for us.  We are so humbled and blessed by each and every one of you.  I would like to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Blessings,

Graham & Kathleen <><

The opinions expressed in this letter are our own opinions.  They are not necessarily the opinions or views of Serving In Mission (SIM).


Saturday, June 16, 2018

Benin Bulletin #13







Benin Bulletin #13

“An Honest Update”

June 16, 2018

Introduction

Greetings to all from Parakou, Benin.  This is going to be a slightly different update than our normal ones.  Kathleen has prepared a letter that she would like to share with you all.  I hope that you will all have time to read it through until the end.  With that said, I’m going to give the floor to Kathleen.

Kathleen’s Letter

I am sure many of you have questions about our time in Benin. What was it like? What type of work did you do? I hear there were struggles, what happened? What was good? In our church presentations we will answer more of those questions. For now, I would like to just say there was certainly some very good times and awesome people that we will remember forever. There were also some struggles. There are many different reasons for those struggles. As we met with our leadership to discuss our time here, they gave us some things we will reflect on and see how we can grow from them.
Most missionaries you talk to will tell you there are struggles. Some last for a short time and others for a much longer time. So, we don’t believe that just because we struggled, we need to leave. As we talked with SIM, with a counsellor, and most importantly with God, we sensed a leading our time here was done. We had a peace that this is not where God was asking us to do another term. We have seen how the Lord has made us grow already and we trust He will continue to teach us.
As some of you know, I struggle with anxiety. I have for a long time. I have worked on it and it is a lot better than it was. I did well in Benin for a while with my anxiety. But as time went on, the anxieties became more. There were times that I was easily able to work through them with the Lord. Other times, I was slower in recognizing it and that made it more difficult to handle.
I had to switch to a different malaria med. I was warned that it can have psychological side effects so to keep an eye out for that. Over the next few months, the anxiety got worse and unfortunately, there were new anxieties that arose. It came to a point where I felt unable to handle it on my own. I reached out for help from a counsellor in Canada. She was able to help me process it. I also had the thought that this could be caused from the new med. I truly believe part of it was. So, I was able to find another med to take which helped take some of the anxieties away. Praise the Lord, I felt a bit more like myself now.
To make things a bit more interesting, on May 6th, I was “late” so I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was positive!! Yay, I was so excited. I had woken up before Graham so I was impatiently waiting for him to get up. I was trying to make as much noise and movement as I could but not too much to make him think I woke him up. As I waited I tried to think of some funny or clever way to tell him. At the 2-hour mark of waiting, I got a phone call from my mom. Not at all what I was expecting and based what time it was, I knew it was bad. My granddad had passed away. All I could think, was “NO! He would have been so happy and proud!” Graham had woken up as my reaction to the phone call was not quiet. He asked what happened. I told him “Granddad had passed away.” I sat there and cried for a bit. Then I added “And I am pregnant. I wanted some cool way of telling you but I can’t right now!” His response was “life is complicated.” Overwhelmed with so many emotions and already struggling with feeling alone, I asked if we could go home for the funeral. The director agreed and let us have that time. By the time we got home I was emotionally drained.
As we were in New Brunswick, we continued to pray about the next steps and where the Lord was leading. We truly did feel our time in Benin was coming to an end. We had looked at other opportunities and felt the Lord was opening a door to visit one particular mission field: Senegal.
On our way back to Benin, we stopped in Dakar, Senegal for a week. Graham looked at an IT position at Dakar Academy, an international school for missionary kids.  I was able to visit a clinic run by YWAM. We felt the positions fit our skill sets and desires for ministry. We met with SIM Senegal to see what their thoughts were. They laid out a tentative plan of how they saw things moving forward. We continue to process what was said and pray to see if this is where God is leading us.
When we returned to Benin, that is when the pregnancy hit in all its glory. So, I know each pregnancy is different, but for those of you who really have to battle with the physical and emotional effects of being pregnant and those that do it multiple times, my hat goes off to you. Wow!! Is all I have to say. And to the husbands that walk through that with their wife and support and help out, I say thank you! For me, it means so much, so I am sure your wife appreciates it too! Over that first week, we adjusted back to our routines and on Friday, I got one of the biggest scares of my life. I woke up to a significant amount of bleeding. Immediately, I thought “I am miscarrying.” I had no idea what to do so I called a missionary friend who is a doctor. Thankfully she knew of a gynecologist/obstetrician in town. The director was called and she came to the house while the other missionary tried to find out when I could see the doctor. I wasn’t exactly sure what was happening but it felt like my heart was breaking. Praise the Lord that the gynecologist/obstetrician had already been called in to the clinic for another patient so we just needed to get there as fast as possible and I could be seen too.
He calls me in and asks what is happening and say he needs to do an ultrasound. I laid there trying not to cry to hard so that he would get a clear picture. The baby was so small. I didn’t understand the picture on the screen. And I just kept saying “don’t freak out.” He clicks some buttons and after what felt like hours, he zooms in and say, “Madame, there is the baby and the heart is still beating. The baby is alive and ok.”  That made me want to burst with emotion even more. He prescribed some meds and put me on bedrest for two weeks. I was thankful the baby was ok but so unsure of how to move forward.
The loneliness and anxiety set in and it made it harder being on bedrest and home most of the time by myself. I would cry for hours. And the nausea got so much worse and my body hurt from being in bed a lot of the time and only being able to lay on my left side. If I laid on my right side, I felt like I had punched the nausea and heartburn button.
I started to think things will get better once I go back to work. But then I started thinking, I can’t do this. The end of August is too far. I am too tired already. I can’t. I know that I am not alone that Christ is with me. I know that I am not to do it in my own strength. When I am weak, I am strong in Christ. And the Lord told me “This is a time of brokenness, please stop fighting me and let me break what needs to be broken and put it back more beautifully than ever. Trust me.” I recognize that leaving too early could be a mistake.  The Lord may be asking us to stay and He would do the work in Benin. As I prayed, there were times where I thought I can stay and other times, I knew I would need to go back home for help. Through talking with Graham, he was able to see how much I was struggling and realized that staying until the end of August would not be helpful. We talked with the director, and she agreed that those who I had as support were leaving and that the field would not have the resources needed to help me. She thought that it would be good to see how long we would need to sell our things and get packed. I had no idea, so I said let’s ask the travel agent what the cheapest day is to switch our flights. The travel agent said July 3rd would be the best date. So, we asked the SIM Benin leadership if July 3rd was a reasonable date or not. The leadership said yes. Once that decision was made both Graham and I were sad but had a peace about going home early.
So, we began making a list of what we wanted to keep and what we wanted to sell. We were very thankful to hear of a family that was coming at the end of July. They were a huge blessing to us as they bought most of our bigger stuff. We were thankful for other missionaries that bought stuff too. The Lord took care of moving things into place.
Arriving back in Canada, there will be a mix of emotions. We will be glad to be home with friends and family and sad that our time in Benin, for now, is over. I am ready to get the help I need with my anxiety. I will continue to work with the counsellor that I had already been talking to and I hope to find someone else that is local (in New Brunswick). I trust the Lord to work it all out for His glory.
The plan for now is to be in New Brunswick, Canada until my due date, which is in January 2019. After that we will see how quickly we adjust to being a family and get all the paperwork down for our next assignment.
Conclusion

Well there you have it.  We would appreciate your continued prayers and support as we transition into…well, all sorts of things.  As always, we will continue to keep you all posted as things develop.

Blessings,

Graham & Kathleen <><

Online donations can be made at www.sim.ca
(Our missionary number is 024460, please choose support account when prompted)

The opinions expressed in this letter are our own opinions.  They are not necessarily the opinions or views of Serving In Mission (SIM).